stumbling through the good parts

sometimes, when i feel at my most vulnerable, you somehow creep back into my dreams.  it's typically when i'm least expecting it.  i don't even realize it's actually happening. it's something i typically overlook in the actual moment. but my brain is cruel. and when i fall asleep, there you are.  in the garden of memory, in the palace of dreams, that's where we shall meet. i'll wake up with a startle, not having been that close to you in years. and then i fight to find my way back to you.  fight to trick my mind to fall back into our storyline, whatever that may be, just so i can spend the few more minutes with you.   i spend the next day inside my own head. re-reading old emails.  what haven't i deleted over the years?  i knew in my times of strength i would try and find these again. back at rock bottom. back at square one. i, of course, know that nothing about this is real.  it's all in my head.  and honestly, feeling this nostalgia an...

we met in 2010. we agreed to be roommates sight unseen.  we fell in love playing in the mountainsides of telluride.  and 7 years later we promised that we would never move out & love one another forever. j: you have grounded me in ways i never thought imaginable. you teach me daily what it means to be loved deeply and fully. you help curate a life that abounds of beauty, engulfed tightly in laughter and surrounded by joy.  thank you; thank you; thank you.    "over the years, and especially this past year, you have showed me to be loved where you are and not where you should be is the greatest of gifts, and i promise that i will embrace this sense of grace that you display daily."

this past june/early july we did a bop about in colorado with some friends before a big wedding of j's friends greg & emma.  we spent some time traipsing around gunnison, crested butte and colorado springs getting some rock time and hiking.  one day this will be home.  until then, colorado.    

to say that i’ve been experiencing some exciting life changes over the past few weeks would be quite the understatement.  in the past month, i went to a wedding and to climb in colorado for a week.  i left my job from the previous 2 years in the non-profit sector and took a job in state government. (did i mention i work the overnight shift now?)  i moved OUT of our old apartment and moved into our new beautiful digs in a new & upcoming neighborhood.  we went from just j and i in a quaint, tight, COLD 1-BR apartment, to a 3-BR with an outdoor patio.. it comes completely equipped with an additional roommate and a 1-yr old black lab as addition to our two-man pack.  to say that i have uprooted my life and tried to restructure and replant in more solid soil is an understatement. but i must say, i’m the happiest i’ve been in so long.  we have a beautiful new apartment (have i said beautiful enough? because i love it) with some wonderful outdoor space that’s...

a couple of weekends back, j and i headed down to DC to go see his mom. she had recently had a big birthday and we wanted to go down and celebrate with her.  it was a bit of a scatterbrained trip in terms of planning, but we were able to throw some things together.  she loves annapolis.  there's plenty of window shopping and good eating to be had around the area so we were more than happy to indulge her on her day of birthday celebrations.  however, the weather wasn't as compliant.  nevertheless, we ventured out into the rainy streets and made a day of it!

today marks the first day of my very own photography apprenticeship that i am doing this summer.  here's what this looks like.  my work graciously allowed me to flex-out my work week into 4 days.  (read: 10-11 hour days, 4 days a week).  in doing this, i'm able to take time this summer and use it towards getting my feet on the ground and running with all of my photography needs.  i've had a lonnnnng list of things that have needed to fall into place since Making Things Happen 2013  intensive that i attended in march.  while it's taken me a while, i'm so thankful for where i'm at right now and where i am going.  since last march, i've been able to get work approval for 1 day flexed.  with the help of friends and family and months and months of saving, i was finally able to purchase my first, very own iMac for photo-editing and blogging.  i'm ecstatic! from here on out, i've created a syllabus for reading some recommended literature....

this weekend was tulip festival.  it's a beautiful time of year and we were so lucky to be able to walk around and enjoy the weather yesterday. the sun was shining and there was delicious fair type foods of all sorts.  it was hard not to stop and try everything.  the music was good and the flowers even better.  thanks for a great sunday, albany.