i find the map and draw a straight line.

there's a clear delineation to me of the before and after.  i'm using this post to bring together multiple blogs from various time periods, but even in reading previous posts there's a clear line in the sand to me.

i'm slower now. slower to react. slower to let others in. slower to trust. slower to feel. slower to heal. and unfortunately, a little slower to laugh. i'm still trying to fix those last few. 

there's a large gap in the timeline of these small glimpses into this life - and so much happened in such a blip of a lifetime.  just 5 years. 2013-2018. and in that amount of time, big cracks started to appear.  i lost katy. we started to see the impacts of mom's illness. i started thinking hard about the relationships in my life and what i valued, where i put my time & energy.  some of those friendships would break during this time period, others will take more time for me to truly understand that i was no longer interested in the level of life they were able to offer me.  

glass is fragile. it breaks. it shatters. but it's created from the combination of pressure, sand and such intense heat that can it be molded into some of the most beautiful things.

the posts from here on out will be live - with a few of them sprinkled in to be lookbacks.  i'll be transitioning some of my written journals that didn't stick so i can find it all in one place.  there were some dark periods. there were some really bright periods.  i want to highlight them all.  because that's where life is, that's where growth is; all the in-betweens.